Finally it’s Friday after the 7-day work week. Today my college best friend and remarkable co-worker, now collaborating with Prof. Ye from Stanford, is celebrating her birthday. We’re both dedicated to research this semester, so our social lives aren’t the most active. Consequently, we didn’t plan like a grand party a month in advance.

But we found ourselves in the same class this morning when my reminder notified me of her birthday. Spontaneously, I suggested going out with a few people for dinner and fun, and she gladly agreed. In the afternoon, we started sending out WeChat DM invitations to our classmates, but it appeared that most of them were busy.

Well, they surely did have time, at least some of them. I won’t say it hurts that much when people politely turned down invitations, but it certainly wasn’t a very pleasant experience when it happened more than ten times in a row. Some of the people I asked had owed me significant favors in the past. And another even had the audacity to ask, “Who else is coming?” before turning down the invitation. Wow, assessing the party crowd in such a direct way is so disrespectful.

But it happens a lot. When I am being cheerful and genuine while others opt to feign coolness, hesitating with their supposed “plans” as if they’re incredibly busy. The general atmosphere is a little bit full of hostility. They’re really taking my autheticity and kindness for granted so as to consolidate the non-existing superiority over, well, someone ten times better than themselves. Sorry.

Say it’s tricky at the top,

gotta have a slim ego for a thick wallet.

Anyway, fate had other plans. As the day wrapped up, my friend and I brought a cake to the lab and played poker. One of the grad students there, an amateur master, generously taught the entire lab how to navigate the game. It turned out to be a delightful evening, a more meaningful and intellectually stimulating social experience compared to spending time with those unappreciative individuals over a dinner filled with superficial conversations.

They say

“Your network is your networth.”

It’s not about the size of your network but rather the strength of the connections and the capabilities of the individuals within it.